


Vultures

by yeeboyeee



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 12:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeeboyeee/pseuds/yeeboyeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is an AU, where the characters from The Office are set in their usual office setting but with the prospect of being “evacuated” to a quarantine/concentration camp. There was a recent outbreak of a pandemic influenza in the Midwest of the United States and Scranton, Pennsylvania, is one of the affected regions. </p><p>It’s a supposed quarantine camp that’s actually a concentration camp, as all infected people would be placed in plastic bags and thrown into a pit to be incinerated. Government propaganda deters people from knowing this. Also, monetary incentives are provided to those reporting other infected people. This is to eradicate all infected people as fast as possible.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Vultures

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU, where the characters from The Office are set in their usual office setting but with the prospect of being “evacuated” to a quarantine/concentration camp. There was a recent outbreak of a pandemic influenza in the Midwest of the United States and Scranton, Pennsylvania, is one of the affected regions. 
> 
> It’s a supposed quarantine camp that’s actually a concentration camp, as all infected people would be placed in plastic bags and thrown into a pit to be incinerated. Government propaganda deters people from knowing this. Also, monetary incentives are provided to those reporting other infected people. This is to eradicate all infected people as fast as possible.

Early morning, Dwight hurriedly walks in to announce the news. 

Dwight: Alright, everyone. Stay calm and listen. Scranton is struck, too. Three people were taken to the camp today. One of them was disabled, with no special accommodation. And I am sure some of you have to make that voyage, too. 

Angela: How do you know it’s not you?

Dwight: Um, because I am a Black belt? 

Michael glares at Oscar while asking, “What about gay people?”

Stanley: Will you stop, for God’s sake?

Michael shrugs. 

Michael: One - that’s what she said. Two - I am just showing brotherly love for my employee. Show some love before you get shipped out!

Jim: Really? Think you used it in the wrong context…

Dwight clears his voice and asks for attention again.  
Dwight: So, I am going to be the inspector of the day to drag out the sick people because it is my duty as the assistant manager to do what’s best for the entire Dunder Mifflin. Thank you. 

Michael gives Dwight a frustrated look and adds, “You should be the first to go.”

Dwight ignores Michael and continues with his speech. 

Dwight: Also, the state of Pennsylvania is offering monetary rewards for those of you dutifully serving your country, and it is a huge sum of money. If you help me find these sick people, then you will get your fair share. I will be very generous in appreciating your contribution. 

Toby approaches Dwight with his morning coffee. 

Toby: How much is it?

Michael: Enough to buy you a new wife! Hah!

Toby: Michael…

Dwight: It’s unclear, but it’s indeed very generous. If you don’t join me, I will assume you’re too sick to serve your country.

Jim looks up from his desk and stretches in his chair, flashing a smile. 

Jim: Well, why not? I’m in. Sounds like a great deal to me!

Dwight: Great. And Michael, you’re automatically in because we go together.

Michael: No, we don’t, but yes, I will take charge in sending the sick to where they need to be at. 

Pam: Well, guess I’m in, too.

Everyone else chimes in, either reluctantly or out of fear. None of them wants be the first target. 

Dwight checks his watch, clasps his hands together and then surveys the room.  
Dwight: Great. So, where shall we begin?

Michael: Oh, I know. Toby Flenderson. Just look at him and those eyebags! Yuck! I think I am going to gag just by looking at him. He looks like he’s dying! Oh, God! I can’t take this anymore! Take him! Take him!

Dwight: Okay, so we’ll begin with Toby.

Toby steps back and looks around the room as if to prove his innocence. 

Toby Flenderson: That is nonsense! If I have done anything that I should be guilty of, that is making myself a cup of coffee in the morning. I am NOT infected. I wouldn’t be here if I was. 

Michael: Yes, making yourself a cup of coffee is fishy. 

Toby: What?

Dwight scribbles something on his notepad. 

Dwight: Relax. You’re not going, yet. You’re just on our target list for now. Plus, the camp will keep you safe and warm! 

Toby: You’re treating me as if I really am sick, but I am not. I can prove this if you bring in a doctor or something. This is very irrational of you, Dwight. It’s not like you.

Dwight: I am still very much like my usual rational self.

Phyllis murmurs quietly. 

Dwight: What’s that, Phyllis?

Phyllis speaks up hesitantly.

Phyllis: I think… I think I remember Toby saying he was not feeling well yesterday. He didn’t seem well, either. 

Stanley: Hm, I think I remember that, too. 

Stanley thinks to himself he should agree with the general consensus to avoid being accused himself. 

Dwight gives Toby an accusing look. 

Dwight: Toby, explain.

Toby: Yeah, but it wasn’t a flu. I was just tired. I’m now feeling better. I’m really fine!

Michael: Fatigue is a symptom of this influenza. Toby, I think you will be better off elsewhere. Please make yourself home at…wherever they’re taking you.

Dwight glances down at his notepad and checks off Toby’s name. 

Dwight: Alright. That does it. 

Everyone is horrified at the speed of this process. People then immediately rush to accuse one another, just to avoid being accused. 

Pam: It’s Angela! She’s not looking at her cats today! She’s acting weirdly!

Dwight: No, I don’t think it’s Angela. Angela just got here late. That’s why.

Pam: How would you know that so well? Is there something going on between you guys that we all don’t know about?

Angela quickly cuts Pam off.

Angela: Uh, no. We’re not like you and Jim. By the way, if one of you are infected, that would mean the other would be infected as well, since flu virus is often transmitted through… you know. 

Dwight: Correct.

Pam, nervous, stands up from her desk and glances at Jim. Jim understands and takes her position. 

Jim: No. As much as I would like to have… um… yeah. It’s not like that between the two of us. And neither of us is sick.

Dwight: Okay. Then, still on the checklist.

Jim gets up from his desk angrily and tries to snatch the notepad from Dwight, but Creed blocks Jim. 

Jim: What? That is insane! Based on what? 

Creed: Based on facts. You and Pam. Both are on the list now.

Jim: Oh, yeah? Then you should be on it too because you use a whole box of Kleenex in a day.

Dwight turns to Creed. 

Dwight: Is that true, Creed? 

Creed: I have personal reasons. 

Michael: Illness! Come on, get these people out fast so I don’t have to suffer from this nasty flu.

Everyone at Dunder Mifflin has gone mad, screaming and shouting at each other to continue their accusations. Not one voice of sanity tried to stop this mass hysteria.

The next day, Michael drives into the parking lot with a new Porsche, and the office seems a bit empty. After showing off his new car, he tells the camera crew it is the curse of Scranton Strangler in Scranton trying to kill off Dunder Mifflin employees one by one in a novel and an unfamiliar way.


End file.
